”“You will always be my first.” Those were the last words you said to me before you left the table. I Was confused; Confused of what I felt and what you were thinking.. We haven’t spoken to each other like this for a while, and it feels melancholic. Sitting next to you, listening to the sound of your gentle voice as you try to find the perfect words to say to me. I was afraid. Afraid to hear the real reason why you left.
And for awhile, I thought I was completely fine, but then again, I realized that it was just all in my head. I was never okay. I was never completely fine. You kept me hanging and I know that I should be mad, but I was not. I could never be mad at you. I know, I was being pathetic. But what am I suppose to do? I was broken; I was scarred and the worst part of it all is that I have no choice but to accept the fact that you were happy with your life without me being a part of it.
I had to let go at some point. I couldn’t just cling on to something that needs to be set free. Seeing you grow into a more mature and responsible person made me realize that letting you go was probably one of the best decision that I have ever made. It was hard at first, but then I got used to the idea that You and I are two different people with two different lives. You had your own group of friends and I had mine, but then again, fate would always find an excuse to draw us back together.
I learned to live my life without you in it and somehow, I managed to survive on my own and just because we can’t be them anymore doesn’t mean I will stop caring for you. You have been a big part of me and I will always have your back. But now, I know why things didn’t work out. You deserve someone who will love you more than I did. I know she’s just around the corner. Now go and find her.”